“Letting go is never a sign of failure, letting go is knowing what battle to fight and what battle to “let it be”.. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care anymore, it is just directing your false hope to something more worthy of your emotions, energy and time.. Letting go is simply taking charge and control over yourself rather than fighting windmills like a modern day Don Quixote…”
― Zena Abou Alnaser
It’s been awhile since I’ve last posted on here. To be honest, I let myself get lost in all the things going on in my life and I lost my inspiration. I lost sight of why I had created the blog over two years ago. Each post I wrote began to feel more robotic and I no longer felt connected to what I was writing. It was like I was on auto pilot and before I knew it, it had been almost six months since I “blogged.” In fact, it had almost been the same amount of time since I wrote period. No journals, no poetry, no freestyle, nada, zilch.
Why? Simple, I let myself get caught up in the chaos around me. I let myself get sucked into the drama and bullshit surrounding me in my personal and professional life. I found myself obsessing and becoming emotionally strung out on situations, people, and circumstances that were out of my control. I spent way too much time and energy on people and situations that weren’t worth it. For it’s so easy to give in to the pettiness of a person being a crappy friend or a difficult coworker when you are in the midst of the “battle.” It’s difficult to have clarity and perspective when you’ve been hurt or your pride insulted. This was where I found myself…and it felt like deja vu. Like haven’t I ridden on this train before and vowed to not repeat that experience…
Well, I finally reached a point a little while ago where I’m like what am I doing and this has gotten old. I asked myself why I was allowing myself to become a prisoner of the past, the negative, and toxic situations…once again. The answer….Bad habits. I’ve decided enough is enough…I’m done repeating the same old, tired routines. I’m working on letting go of that which haunts me….the old hurts and bitterness so I can focus on the present and what I do have control over. And guess what? Somewhere along the lines, I’ve found my inspiration to write again. Through letting go of the burdens I’ve held on to for far too long, I feel lighter, freer, more balanced and empowered. I’m taking back control and it feels good. I’m embracing less structure and more free spirit. So, instead of vowing to post everyday or once a week like I did before….I will say I will post as inspiration hits me. This is me choosing to take unnecessary pressure off myself…this is me taking control.
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