Being Honest with Yourself

By Corin

“When we start letting people into our gated community, we lavish attention on them since they’re one of the few. We go out of our way to make our newly minted friend feel special. But if we notice that they’re not returning our attention with the same amount of care, we feel taken for granted.

Next comes the small conversations like, I know you didn’t mean to do this on purpose, but you hurt my feelings doing these things and not doing these as stipulated in Addendum 1, 3, 4a and 666. Those small conversations become more frequent.

We feel better being so generous in our forgiveness of our friends’ little foibles, but our friends are wondering how many more Addendums there are. Friends start treading lightly so they don’t break another Rule that’s part of our value system. They can only be themselves as long it doesn’t break our rules. Is it any wonder our friends choose to move on to less restrictive relationships?”

     Relationships are hard to navigate. We all know this. But what we forget is that we often cause our relationships to be much more difficult and strained than necessary. Unconsciously, we put restrictions and conditions on those around us and when they come up short then it becomes a case of blame being cast on the other person for not being a good enough friend, partner, etc. When in reality we need to look in the mirror and take a hard critical look at our actions before casting stones. And each person should take time today to reevaluate close relationships and honestly assess what unwritten conditions have been attached to them. Then work to let go of those unhealthy restrictions and have this same open dialogue with those who are important to you. And together you can work to move forward with a bond that is truly strong enough to stand the test of time.

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